i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
