I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
