its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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