Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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