I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize