Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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