I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let's get the cat blown out
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize