You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
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hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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