I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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