clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
do nipples grow back?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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