then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
