It's like God shit irony all over that family
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
