i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
