in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
