He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize