I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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