I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
