Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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