I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
