i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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