Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't turn off my feet"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
