maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
