So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
