So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
