I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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