I'm passing your future prison.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
