i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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