Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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