We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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