I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I AM VODKA MAN
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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