OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
