The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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