Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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