I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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