you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
