Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
