Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
