Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize