I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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