I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i love accidental penises.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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