i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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