I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
