My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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