And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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