HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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