Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Found the puke drawer
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
