Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
