the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
