so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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