In the future we'll all be gay
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
