fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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