I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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