I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
