i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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