so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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