She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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