I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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