Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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