You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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