I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
