Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
