It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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