Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I could make wine with my vomit
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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